The parties I wish I'd gatecrashed

The Great Gatsby, Warner Bros (Picture: metro.co.uk)

The festive party season is officially in full swing. The concept of throwing a party is as old as time itself, bringing together potent combinations of friends, acquaintances, rivals and strangers for the sole purpose of pleasure and amusement, often with explosive results. 

That's why The Party often sets the scene for pivotal moments in history, literature, movies and of course every single episode of Gossip Girl, not to mention real life. Just imagine how many friendships and relationships have begun or ended at an office Christmas party or a wedding...

What makes (or breaks) a party?

The truly legendary parties are more than a sum of their parts; the guests, music, free drinks and frisson will only get you so far. The only thing really necessary for a good party is a good mood - check your inhibitions at the door together with your coat, otherwise a party will almost certainly fall flat.

Case in point: Truman Capote's famously lavish Black and White Masked Ball of 1966 brought together all of Hollywood, royalty, fashion, politics and the art world, and is nostalgically referred to as the Party of the Century. But how much fun did the herds of A-list guests really have? Was the Majarajah of Jaipur dancing on the tables with Sammy Davis Jnr.? Did Tennessee Williams watch the sunrise with Mia Farrow and Andy Warhol?

Er, apparently not. Despite its now mythical status, the actual gossip from that night seems to be fairly thin on the ground. There were no tales of dramatic showdowns, drunken debauchery or uninvited guests. The mood is said to have been bitchy and self-conscious, and despite Capote's loud protestations, Frank Sinatra and his cronies slipped out early in favour of a nearby bar - effectively shutting down the party.

Frank Sinatra and Mia Farrow at the Black and White Ball, Plaza Hotel, New York, 1966

Likewise, Gatsby's flashy New York parties of the roaring twenties may have been beautiful, but would they have been any fun? I'm not saying I'd have turned down a coveted invitation from the enigmatic Jay Gatsby, but behind his decadent garden parties, where "men and girls came and went like moths among the whisperings and the champagne and the stars”, there was... nothing much. Women who didn't know each other's names chattered away falsely over cocktails, husbands flirted around while their wives hissed in their ears, and all the while, Gatsby kept himself isolated from the action, barely recognised by his own guests.

But sometimes, for whatever reason, all the elements just come together to form the Perfect Storm of Parties, creating something that will be talked about for years. Here's what went down at the parties I wish I'd crashed... 

The Mad Hatters Tea Party

Alice in Wonderland (2010),Walt Disney/Tim Burton

Where else but Wonderland could you find yourself at a trippy tea party with a Mad Hatter, a March Hare and a Dormouse? Well, quite a few places dotted around London these days - including the Sanderson Hotel which runs a signature Mad Hatters Afternoon Tea, complete with 'Eat Me' labels, lollipops that turn your mouth from hot to cold, and multicoloured sandwiches. However the original literary version remains the most random and brilliant, inverting the traditional social convention of 'taking tea' into something curiously psychedelic.

The Great Cheese Party of 1837

In 1837, the President of the USA took out a newspaper advert inviting members of the public to come to the White House and share his 1,400 pound wheel of cheddar. The result was a feeding frenzy.

A year previously, a New York farmer had presented President Jackson with the giant cheese, which weighed the equivalent of 10 x Barack Obamas (probably). Jackson let the cheese age for more than a year in the White House, before holding the Great Cheese Party just before he left office. It was said you could smell cheese from half a mile in every direction from the White House; quite the legacy for his successor.

Ten thousand people swarmed to the White House for a slice of the action. Two hours later, all that remained of the cheese were the crumbs that had been ground into the carpet and smeared on the silk curtains. 

Why Cheese Day hasn't turned into an annual American holiday is beyond me. Sounds like a brie-lliant excuse for a party! (sorry).

The Hangover

The Hangover (2009), Warner Bros

When an evening begins with the ominous toast: "To a night we'll never forget," you're just asking for trouble. But luckily for Bradley Cooper et al, it turns out that pulling out your own tooth and stealing a tiger from Mike Tyson can actually have a life affirming effect on your friendships and relationships.  

Every group has it's own 'Alan'. If you think yours doesn't, it's probably you. But don't worry; the ultimate loose canon Alan was the reason that this particular Vegas stag do has come to define a generation and is now the yardstick by which we measure the epicness of all parties - despite none of us actually witnessing it. The less you remember of a party, and the more random props/animals that turn up the morning after, the more successful it surely was.

Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens

Image from vauxhallgardens.com

Its hard to believe that ugly SE11 was once home to the most famous and hedonistic pleasure gardens ever seen in this country, as described in Thackeray's Vanity Fair. 

Every weekend, 18th century socialites, peasants and celebrity courtesans alike were able to pay the small entry fee into Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens, a grown-up playground of delights which hosted masquerades, circus performers, fireworks and even hot air balloon launches. 

The main promenades were lit by thousands of oil lamps, but it was most notorious for the dark and plentiful nooks and crannies in the shrubbery, where all manner of naughtiness ensued.

The gardens lost their sparkle in the mid 19th century when they became known for crime, prostitution and seediness and eventually were forced to close. These days, all that remains of the gardens is a sad and unremarkable little park in built-up Vauxhall; a hangover from its glorious heyday.

Netherfield Ball, Pride and Prejudice

Jane Austen's Regency Balls, despite the formalities, were surprisingly sexually charged; a ball would have been the only place a man and a woman could make physical contact in public, not to mention the fact that eligible men were tasked to dance with as many women as they possibly could. Romantic sparks must have been flying around the room left right and centre.

And Jane Austen doesn't disappoint at Netherfield Ball in Pride and Prejudice. The highlight of the evening came after Elizabeth had been cornered by the repellent Mr Collins for the first two dances, only to be dumbfounded when sulky Mr Darcy, who had rejected her at the Meryton Ball, asks her for the next dance. 

The visible spark between the pair gave fellow guests plenty to 'OMG' about the next day and has done wonders for men everywhere who, like Darcy, aren't quite the life and soul of the party. Instead of being written off as party poopers, they have been rebranded as the mysterious heroes, quietly smouldering in the corner and rescuing you from dancing with creepy men.

'Parents are out of town' teen parties

10 Things I Hate About You (1999), Touchstone Pictures

Finally, how could I write about parties without mentioning the keg-fuelled teen blow-outs that define all American coming-of-age movies? 

In my school, these orgies of destruction were practically forced upon all those foolish enough to let slip that their parents were out of town; it was your time, nay, your duty to step up to the mark and take one for the team. 

In my eyes, the archtype of a teen house party is Bogey Lowenstein's party in 10 Things I Hate About You, where the entire school crashes a geek's cheese and wine evening and turns it into the crazy party of the year - but in hindsight our Sixth Form equivalent was probably something closer to an episode of the Inbetweeners. The Last of our House Parties resulted in a cake sale in the common room to fund the damage to the house - Mum stopped going away so much after that, and the party, it seemed, was officially over.

Merry Christmas!

Thanks for reading and good luck surviving the party season! After all, there aint no party like a Christmas party. If I've missed one of your favourite all-time fictional or historical parties, please add your comments below.

Sometimes we all need to escape

Over the last six months, I have blogged about how to escape. From secret speakeasies to immersive cinema, London is an escapist's playground. But what I haven't mentioned until now is why to escape.

When asked what my blog is about and I reply with 'escapism', I usually get one of two reactions; either someone instantly gets it, their eyes light up and they say 'Ooh you should write about ….'. (Please keep this coming!).

Or they look at me like a sympathetic therapist and say, 'But what are you escaping from?'

Humans have always felt the need to escape, and over the centuries this has taken many forms; Roman gladiator fights, Shakespearean romps at the Globe, hippy communes and happy hours.

True, escapism can have darker connotations; drug addicts, spendaholics and fantasists are prime examples of escapism gone a bit wrong. And our current rose-tinted nostalgia for bygone eras and the 'good old days' does beg the question, 'What's wrong with the here and now?'

But I also wonder what's so virtuous about gritty realism? If we lived only in reality, and expanded our minds no further than our immediate surroundings and daily routines, how would anyone ever conjure up the imagination to write music, to dream up Narnia and Hogwarts, to build a spaceship or even to challenge their current situations and dream of a better way of doing things? Life would be very dull indeed.

The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe (Walt Disney Pictures, 2005)

The importance of escapism should never be underestimated. Having worked in the hospice sector for nearly four years, I've seen first hand how seemingly small pleasures like learning to paint, going to the seaside or enjoying a favourite childhood meal can make the biggest difference to someone in the most difficult circumstances of all.

My own interest in escapism admittedly started as a result of a broken heart, when my friends rallied round, making sure I was never alone and filling my calendar with fun and diverting activities. And although now, thankfully, everything seems to be ticking along quite nicely, I'm still nurturing my escapist state of mind.

This doesn't have to mean you are dissatisfied with your own life; I think it's about living in the here and now whilst opening your eyes to the everyday moments of magic that are all around us. It's about embracing everything that's not sensible, realistic, rational or mundane, and not getting bogged down by the necessities.

In short, escapism keeps you sane. The trick is to enjoy 'bite-sized' pieces of harmless escapism, just enough to take the edge off real life without retreating to another world altogether.

Having had a very real, very sad last few weeks as our beautiful Granny slipped away from us, perhaps unsurprisingly I've struggled to get into that mentality where I want to write about fun little diversions.

But then I remember that Granny herself was somehow both hilariously pragmatic and a born escapist; she travelled, she laughed, she read, she bet on horses, she drank before lunchtime and she fell in love (usually with “big men with little brains”, in the words of my great aunt).

So in memory of Granny, I have chosen a few quotes to help me – and anyone else who might need an emergency dose of escapism – to recapture the magic in everyday life.

Night Sky by Babak Tafreshi, from telegraph.co.uk

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” - Oscar Wilde

“The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.” ― J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan 

“What I’ve found does the most good is just to get into a taxi and go to Tiffany’s. It calms me down right away, the quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there, not with those kind men in their nice suits, and that lovely smell of silver and alligator wallets.”

― Truman Capote, Breakfast at Tiffany's

Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961)

“If a soldier is imprisoned by the enemy, don't we consider it his duty to escape?. . .If we value the freedom of mind and soul, if we're partisans of liberty, then it's our plain duty to escape, and to take as many people with us as we can!” - JRR Tolkien

"One of the very nicest things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating." - Luciano Pavarotti

"Some movies are slices of life, mine are slices of cake." - Alfred Hitchcock

“And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it.”
― Roald Dahl

“Ah, music! A magic far beyond all we do here!” - Albus Dumbledore

“Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.” - Oscar Wilde

And finally, for those worrying about the escapist's hangover, whoever said that coming back down to earth couldn't be part of the fun...?

Felix Baumgartner's leap from space, from telegraph.co.uk

Grease was the word, Barnes was the place

The cut-throat world of the American high school is something of a second home for the ladies of my generation, having grown up on Saved by the Bell, Clueless and Mean Girls. But for most of us, our initiation into the world of Californian jocks and cheerleaders began in our formative years, with the one and only Grease.

There was therefore something very familiar about Future Cinema’s spectacular and interactive outdoor screening of the classic musical, which saw Barnes Common being completely transformed into the iconic Rydell High for the weekend.

From TNTmagazine.com

The greasy scent of burgers, candy floss, hairspray and motor oil was in the air, as nine thousand fans formed a sea of black leather and pink satin at this all-singing, all-dancing festival of nostalgia, organised by the team behind the acclaimed 'Secret Cinema'.

No detail went unnoticed and no expense was spared in the meticulous re-creation of Greaseland. It was all here; the vintage cars, Frenchy’s pyjama party, the school hall dance-off, Frosty’s Place Diner and even a Ferris wheel from which to gleefully shout, ‘I’m not pregnant!’

We were completely immersed in this alternate universe from the moment we walked in and were greeted by an all-American football coach: “Welcome back to Rydell girls, have a good year!”

We were then accosted by the excitable Pattie herself: “Oh my god I LOVE the first day of school, don’t you? Are you coming to cheerleader try outs? Can you spell Caribbean? Oh my god, you CAN? You HAVE to join the spelling team!”

By the time we’d grabbed a quick mac’n’cheese and some popcorn, and been on the receiving end of some killer lines that Danny Zuko himself would have been proud of (“Hey beautiful, I got something else you can put in your mouth...”), I could almost have believed I was genuinely a teenager at a 1950s pep rally.

After a couple of hours soaking up the school spirit, the summer day had drifted away and turned into a very autumnal night - I had chills, and they were multiplying.

Fortunuately, once the film started, we were up on our feet so often that we warmed up in no time. During key musical numbers, Future Cinema's team of actors burst onto the stage in front of the screen and taught the whole audience the moves (I'm proud to say I can now add the Hand Jive to my repertoire).

When the credits rolled, and the excitable crowd of T-Birds and Pink Ladies poured back out into the streets of suburban West London singing 'We Go Together', I felt totally uplifted, nostalgic and, well, young.

Despite appearances, there are unlikely parallels between my experience of a bog-standard Suffolk upper school and the glossier, more glamourous world of '50s Rydell High. Yes, in Hollywood, the kids all look like they’re in their 30s, people randomly burst into song and the school buses are distinctly yellower - but the cliques and geeks, the sadistic sports coaches, the sleepovers, the style faux pas, the crushes, and the unwritten rules of who sits where at lunch, are universal.

I've seen Grease countless times, but never got so much enjoyment from it as I did on that chilly night in Barnes. I can't wait to see what Future Cinema brings to life next.

London in the Movies

Mary Poppins (1964), Walt Disney

London is an iconic, sprawling film set, where hundreds of great loves have been born, dark crimes have been hidden, adventures have began and stars have left their footsteps. Turn any corner in the city and you could be struck by an overwhelming sense of deja vu as you find yourself in a strangely familar spot, transported into a childhood fantasy or a cult classic.

As I wander around London, I often feel like I'm in a film. Looking out of the window over London's rooftops on a misty evening still always reminds me of Peter Pan. The dark cobbled alleyways around Grays Inn Road, near my offices, are evocative of the shadowy Victorian lairs of Oliver Twist. Even rush hour tube journeys have a certain novelty - if I miss a train, I sometimes wonder if that might have had a Sliding Doors effect on the course of my life.

Peter Pan (1953), Walt Disney

So on a sunny Saturday morning, my companion and I, who share a mutual love of romantic comedies, Harry Potter and musicals, could think of nothing lovelier than to take ourselves on a tour of London's movie locations.

We left my friend's flat in Waterloo and began our journey on the South Bank, where Hugh Grant famously said, in the words of David Cassidy, 'I think I love you' (Four Weddings and a Funeral).

Harry Potter 

Dark clouds appeared from nowhere and loomed ominously as we crossed the Millennium Bridge, creating that 'disaster movie' sensation of the calm before the storm. It felt, for a moment, as though the Dementors were coming.

Thankfully, we reached the other side of the bridge, unlike the poor Muggles in the scene from Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, when the Death Eaters destroy it during a rampage through central London.

Once safely north of the river, we spied Australia House on The Strand, which moonlights as the setting of the wizarding bank, Gringotts, in the films. And of course an embarrassing photo at Platform 9 3/4 in King's Cross Station is also a must for any self-respecting Potter geek in London.

On my way to Hogwarts

Sweeney Todd: Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Although now interspersed with branches of Starbucks and Pret, many of the old, crooked establishments on Fleet Street are still reminiscent of Tim Burton's atmospheric musical Sweeney Todd. The film tells the story of murderous Johnny Depp as the demon barber who fills neighbouring Mrs Lovett's homemade pies with his victims' remains.

With this in mind, as we neared the end of Fleet Street, I was alarmed to see a Wagamama directly underneath a dodgy looking barber shop. Maybe stick to the vegetarian options if you ever decide to eat there...

Eek!

Mary Poppins

As we approached the steps of St Paul's Cathedral, where a melancholy old lady feeds the pigeons after dark in Mary Poppins, the heavens opened in true chick flick style. This rather scuppered our plans to 'feed the birds' as Julie Andrews sung in the film, as they all flew away, unimpressed with the soggy bread on offer. (This must be why Disney decided to film the whole thing in a California studio).

A gorgeous day to re-live Mary Poppins

The roof terrace on top of next-door shopping centre One New Change is the perfect place to gaze upon St Paul's and over the rooftops of the City. If you look closely, you might even spot a few Cockney chimney sweeps in the distance leaping around Dick Van Dyke style... maybe.

However in what had become a dramatic thunder and lightning storm, with rain launching itself at us from all angles, a rooftop was perhaps an unwise choice. Looking more like drowned rats than rain soaked heroines, we quickly decided the credits had rolled on our day of movie fun and we retreated indoors for a large glass of wine.

Notting Hill 

There are still enough classic film locations to warrant at least another day of exploring, particularly in the pretty-as-a-picture village of Notting Hill. (Yes, that'll be Hugh Grant again - still being wheeled out for any London-based romantic comedy). The Travel Bookshop from the movie has sadly closed down, but you can still spend a leisurely afternoon looking for the little house with the blue door, and peering into the communal gardens where Hugh and Julia Roberts shared their first kiss.

These pretty streets are also the romantic setting for one of my favourite scenes from Love Actually, when Andrew Lincoln brings his signs over to Keira Knightley's house and tells her he loves her, 'without hope or agenda'. This scene was filmed in St Luke's Mews in Notting Hill and is one of those locations that feels just as magical in real life.

Love Actually (2003), Universal Pictures / Studio Canal / Working Title

However Walt Disney discovered the joys of this area long before Richard Curtis, in the classic Bedknobs and Broomsticks. A real life jaunt down Portobello Road would be so much more fun if only life was a musical...

Not The End...

Thousands of tales have been told about London town, and it would take a lifetime to experience them all. I've not even mentioned the gritty East End stomping grounds of Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, the mysterious temples of The Da Vinci Code, the Elizabethan theatres of Shakespeare in Love, or the elegant parks of Finding Neverland.

Ticking them off is a great way to explore the city, but rather than trying to cram it all into a day, I think I'll try to experience the rest one at a time, saving each one for when I am feeling a bit jaded and most in need of some movie magic.

Today I am ... ready to go back to Titanic

Titanic, 1997: Paramount Pictures, 20th Century Fox. Image from titanicuniverse.com

Flashback to 1997.

In a packed cinema of girls watching Titanic for the third or fourth time, we are mouthing along to the script and when the credits roll and the lights come on, everyone turns to each other demanding, 'Did you cry when Jack died? Did you? How many tissues did you use?' If you didn't cry, it was clear you were a monster.

Fifteen years on, after re-living Titanic in remastered 3D, it's a similar experience. Only I feel slightly cross-eyed. This was the closest thing to the unparalleled experience of watching Titanic for the first time, the subtle use of 3D immersing you more deeply into the drama and sheer scale of the film.

But, despite some very misjudged trailers for little boys' action movies, I don't think anyone was really there for the 3D. The latest release of Titanic is about nostalgia, not only for old world decadence and innocent romance. For my generation, it's also nostalgia for the late 1990s. Before the days of texting, reality TV and Twilight. Before we all got jobs and actual relationships that weren't with a fictional, dead character.

Titanic is the ultimate antidote to modern life. In the wise words of Liam Neeson in Love Actually: "We need Kate. We need Leo. And we need them now."

Titanic, 1997: Paramount Pictures, 20th Century Fox Image from namastehollywood.com

I know there are a lot of haters out there, so I'll try and explain the appeal.

For me, Titanic can be forgiven any clunky dialogue and plot holes, because it is more than a film. It is part of popular culture, our generation's only Gone With the Wind moment.

We knew the dialogue by heart (and, as I learnt this week, it turns out I still do. Is that taking up valuable brain space?!). I taught myself  the piano music from the naked drawing scene with near religious determination.

Even years later, at university, one of our regular haunts was a nightclub on a boat, originally dubbed The Boat. Every Monday, there would invariably be at least one drunken student clambering around on deck shouting 'I'm the king of the world!', shortly before throwing up into the Tyne.

Titanic, 1997: Paramount Pictures, 20th Century Fox. Image from famouslinersonline.com

Just what is it about Titanic? In a word - Jack.

While the boys in our class sported bowl haircuts and threw footballs at our heads, Jack Dawson was a true hero. He represented freedom, fun and romance. We wanted him to whisk us away from double maths and take us on rollercoasters and teach us how to ride horses and spit like a man.

Apparently we had a lucky escape - the studios wanted Matthew McConaughey (eek!), but thankfully James Cameron insisted on Leonardo DiCaprio to bring Jack Dawson to life.

Did he give us unrealistic expectations of love? Probably. It was always rather disappointing on school trips to France when there was no handsome artist with floppy golden hair waiting for us at the front of the ferry. Even today, Jack and Rose's epic 3-day Great Love makes modern dating seem pretty banal and brutal. By modern standards, in the time it took Jack and Rose to fall in love, break up, reunite, plan their elopement and meet their tragic fate, we would still be waiting for him to text after the first date.

Titanic proudly wears its heart on its sleeve and is loved by millions precisely because it is so simple and void of cynicism.

Titanic, 1997: Paramount Pictures, 20th Century Fox. Image from cambridgescholarsprogramme.com

Titanic, 1997: Paramount Pictures, 20th Century Fox. Image from namastehollywood.com

Once upon a time, Titanic was very nearly ruined for me when a former housemate and their other half decided to put it on full blast at 1am, in a failed attempt to mask some more dubious sounds... Fortunately I managed to repress the slightly disturbing memory and love it more than ever today.

Of course the criticism is understandable; it's no doubt a flawed film. I still love James Horner's haunting score, but whoever okayed Celine Dion to sing the theme has a lot to answer for. And the enormous floating door that Rose refuses to share with Jack looks even bigger in 3D.

But none of that matters. There's magic between the young Kate and Leo - in the lively dancing scene at the Irish steerage party, for example, or when Rose leaps off the lifeboat and they share an emotional reunion on the stairs ("You jump, I jump, right?"). The sinking scenes are every bit as horrifying, spectacular and chilling now as they were fifteen years ago. I asked a male friend of mine what his favourite bit is, to which he replied: "When the man hits the propeller." Nice.

We all know which bit he means though, and it's a classic example of how Titanic will stay with you long after you take off your 3D glasses.