Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Sex & the Other City


As I prepare to visit a fabulous friend who has recently packed up her laptop and moved to New York's Upper East Side, I've been watching an awful lot of Sex & the City (for conditioning purposes, you understand).

And in a realisation that is both alarming and amazing in equal amounts, I've noticed that I’ve started relating to it a lot more than I did ten years ago. The gossipy lunches, the dating anecdotes, the single bashing, the ex drama and the addictive buzz of the city all ring true for my generation of girls in London.

Even Carrie's relentless musings about the world of dating have started to make a lot of sense, despite the fact that 90% of them can be answered with a simple 'NO'.

From Buzzfeed.com
So, as I've relived the good, the bad and the ugly days of turn-of-the-millenium Manhattan, I couldn't help but wonder; if Carrie Bradshaw was dating in London during 2014, what inane, profound and downright random questions would she ask?

(Note: to be read aloud in Sarah Jessica Parker's thoughtful voice, while tapping your keyboard and gazing pensively out of the window)

1. In London relationships, is zone 4 a deal breaker?

2. In the great Tube Map of Love, was our relationship doomed to go round and round like the Circle Line? Were we the Northern Line: long, confusing and really hot? Or was it just short and pointless, like the Waterloo & City Line? Or - in the end - would it be quicker just to get off and walk?

3. In the world of men, is it possible to break down the walls and reach the magical Platform 9 ¾? Or are you really just banging your head against a brick wall?

Image: Getty Images
4. If he never calls you on the dog-and-bone, is your relationship heading into Barney Rubble?

5. When it comes to the 'it' guys, is it worth waiting in line? Or are we all just queuing in the rain for cold pulled pork and an overrated Negroni?

6. I couldn't help but wonder; is the urban fox on my street getting more sex than me? (It certainly sounds like it...)

Image: from telegraph.co.uk
7. Were 90’s boybands giving us false expectations, or can you REALLY find love on the Northern Line?

8. Guys who buy you Jagerbombs at the Clapham Grand: friend... or foe?

9. I couldn’t help but wonder; if we’re tired of Tinder, are we tired of life?

10. Is a pretentious beard the new designer drug?

Image: relevantmagazine.com
11. Can a relationship really be made in Chelsea, or is the only way Essex? Or are out of town guys like Boris bikes - great in theory but more of a novelty than a long term solution?

12. If London is the single gal's Oyster card, why are there no fish in the sea?

Image: Copyright Jon Cartwright, column10.com
13. Was I dating the Kensington Olympia of guys, destined to only be available at weekends and selected events? Was he playing hard to get, or was it just signal failure?

14. When a relationship is faulty, how many times should you seek assistance before you trade in your Oyster card?

15. When it comes to being picked up, should you summon someone reliable on your smartphone? Or do you jump in the first black cab that passes you by?

16. The Hipster: How can you be 'shore' you want to 'ditch' him?

17. And finally, is it ever OK to date a guy who stands on the left? (NO.)

Image: online.thatsmags.com
And there you have it. Enough philosophical musings on the world of London dating to keep Carrie in Manolos for a good few months at least. Now hand me a Cosmo.

Thank you to Katy and Romy for their help with this one. I can't help but wonder if we've all watched too much Sex & the City...?!

1 comment:

  1. Henrietta RosselliFebruary 5, 2014 at 8:29 PM

    Which London night bus scenario is he? Arrives prematurely and leaves you behind or a bumpy ride where you wake up in a dodgy destination?

    Henrietta x