Monday, August 19, 2013

Time well wasted: My favourite things on the internet

The internet has brought us many things including the good, the bad and the ugly; from identity theft  and Twitter trolls, to new relationships and long-lost family reunions.

But, perhaps most importantly, it's brought us this.

This is not a dog politely riding the train to work (it's actually not). But this image, and many others like it, is a pointless and yet oddly brilliant antidote to the daily grind. And there's plenty more where that came from...

1. Gizoogle

Fo' all y'all biotches who wanna find shiznit! Gizoogle translates (or 'tranzizzles') your own text or a website of your choice into gangster speak. Try writing all your correspondence today this way - your boss will love it! Or, should I say, "Try freestylin' all yo' lettas dis way todizzle. It make me wanna holla playa! Yo' crazy ass boss will ludd dat shit."

2. Ryan Gosling:

Need more Ryan Gosling in your life? The genius 'Hey Girl' app replaces every image in your browser with a smouldering, sensitive, impassioned or pensive picture of the Notebook star. That's right. No more selfies, babies or cupcakes dominating your Facebook news feed. No more disillusioned politicians greeting you on BBC News this morning.

Just lots and lots of pictures of Ryan. Which is how it should be, really.

3.  28 ways to make a meeting more interesting

This article originally appeared on The Guardian in the late nineties. With my finger firmly on the pulse of popular culture, I discovered it 12 years later.

Meetings were never the same again. I've dreamed endlessly of writing the words 'He fancies you' on my notepad and showing it to the person next to me while indicating with my pen. Or producing a hamster from my pocket and suggesting we throw it to one another as a means of idea-exchange.

This just does not get old.

4. TubeCrush

It's one of London's cruellest phenomena.  The hottest person you've ever seen, and quite possibly the love of your life, chooses your carriage to board. It can't be a coincidence. But then, after five stops on the Central Line, they wander off and are gone forever.

Pervs around the city have found a solution: TubeCrush, a site dedicated to capturing those fleeting moments on the London Underground. Next time you see a little iPhone peeking out over the top of Metro, you know you've been TubeCrushed.

The site has sparked controversy with its general creepiness and blatant double standards (imagine if there was a female equivalent!). But, boys, ask yourself this; what's the one thing worse than being on TubeCrush? That's right - not being on TubeCrush.

5. London Grumblr

LondonGrumblr is essential browsing for anyone who might need a daily reminder to see the funny side of London life.

Through the medium of animated GIFs, LondonGrumblr somehow manages to sum up all that irrational anger that Londoners share towards tourists, out-of-towners, commutes, Monday mornings, hangovers, £10 cocktails and cramped flats - and makes it something to be perversely proud of.

My all-time favourite Grumbles include:

Very, very funny, and very, very true.

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